So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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