i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you traded sex for a burrito?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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