Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
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i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
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Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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