why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
