How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
