i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Randomize
