I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just invented taco cereal.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
