she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
