ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
That reminds me...we need to get swords
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Randomize
