theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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