I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Someone shit on the floor
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize