Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
