Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
