this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
