dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
