this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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