Pregnant stripper...not hot.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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