marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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