If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
My cat gives me a boner
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
