the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
