she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize