Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
