I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
