oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
