A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
