Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
she peed on how many people?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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