Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
