I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
