great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
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And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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