You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
