Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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