All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i love accidental penises.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
