So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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