Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
