i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize