Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
