Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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