There is no way he is gay with that hair.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize