Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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