State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
