fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize