The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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