I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
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Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
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Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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