it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
