Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
