i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
