You're a womanizer and a bitch.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
