im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
