Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
