opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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