they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
