he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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