I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
