Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
