I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The air was thick with penises
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
The Olympian is in my bed
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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