I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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