i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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