hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
