my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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