I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
They left me at home... I'm a liability
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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