Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
